Q:
My husband and I have had a fairly rocky marriage, but we've stayed together all these years for the sake of the children. But now that they're out on their own, I don't see any reason why we should stay married. Do you?
A:
I’m thankful at least that you apparently took your responsibilities as parents seriously, in spite of your difficulties. Every divorce leaves problems in its wake—especially when children are involved.
Why should you stay together? One reason is practical; you both will face problems you’ve probably never thought about—financial questions, housing issues, relations with your children (and, someday, with your grandchildren), how you’ll spend your holidays, and so forth. But you’ll also have to face the reality of being alone—both now, and as you grow older. At the very beginning of the human race God declared, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18).
But I also hope you’ll stay together because God wants to help you heal your marriage. You may think it’s impossible to regain the joy you both felt when you first fell in love, but it’s not—not with God’s help. This is why I urge you to turn to God, and to ask Jesus Christ to come into your lives and your marriage.
What will Christ do? He’ll give you a new determination to overcome the problems in your marriage, and a new desire to put each other first instead of yourself. God’s pattern for marriage is still best—and it’s still possible, with God’s help. The Bible says, “Love is patient, love is kind. … It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. … Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5,8).