Answers

Q:

How can you forgive someone who's really hurt you, and yet they don't even realize it? My business partner was lazy and it eventually destroyed our company, but he still blames it all on the economy. I'd be a hypocrite if I said I'd forgiven him, because I can't.


A:

Forgiving someone who has deeply hurt us — no matter what they did — is one of the hardest things some of us will ever do. It’s so hard, in fact, that I don’t believe we can really do it without God’s help. But with God’s help we can — and I pray you’ll discover this truth for yourself as you learn to forgive this person.

What is the key? The key is to understand how God has forgiven us. We don’t deserve to be forgiven; we’ve rebelled against God and turned our backs on Him, and there’s no reason why He should forgive us for our sins. Even if we think we’re fairly good, we still aren’t worthy of God’s forgiveness. As the Bible says, “There is no one righteous, not even one” (Romans 3:10).

And yet God reaches out and offers to forgive us — not because we deserve it, but simply because of His grace and mercy and love. His grace is so great that He sent His Son into the world to pay the price for our redemption. If God forgave us in spite of our sin, shouldn’t we forgive others the same way? The Bible says, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13).

Don’t hold on to your bitterness and anger any longer — for they’ll become a poison to your soul. Instead, ask God to forgive you for your own sins — and then ask Him to help you forgive this person and put the past behind you.