I guess I wasn't very wise in the way I went about our divorce, and now my ex-husband has custody of our children and I almost never get to see them. This breaks my heart, but he tells them I'm just an angry person and it was all my fault (which it wasn't), and they think he can do no wrong. Do you think I should tell them the truth?


Sadly, many people today enter marriage with their fingers crossed (so to speak), saying to themselves, “Oh well, if it doesn’t work out, we can always get a divorce.” They believe that if something goes wrong, divorce will be the solution.

But this simply isn’t true—as you have discovered. Divorce almost always causes far more problems than it solves, and this is especially true when children are involved. In fact, I have almost never seen a divorce that didn’t leave behind it a long trail of bitterness, anger, disillusionment, and sorrow.

And that is why I urge you not to try to turn your children against their father. Why add to their hurt? You probably wouldn’t convince them and would only add to the anger and pain that poisoned your marriage. Make it your goal instead to let them know you love them.

The Bible says, “‘I hate divorce,’ says the Lord God” (Malachi 2:16). This is because God loves us, and He hates to see us go through the pain that divorce almost always causes. Don’t be bound by the past, but turn your life and your feelings over to Christ, and let Him fill your heart with His love.