We're believers and attend church, but when my husband gets angry he sometimes hits me. What should I do?


Let us assure you that God does not intend for anyone to be treated abusively. God’s plan is for a husband and wife to live together in love.

The wife who is being physically abused should take immediate steps to remove herself, and any children, from the situation. Help can be obtained by looking for crisis intervention centers which are listed inside the covers of most telephone books. We would also suggest that you confide in a trusted Christian friend or relative about your situation. You will be surprised at the relief and encouragement you feel in letting someone else know what you have been experiencing.

We also encourage you to talk with your pastor about your abuse, whether physical or emotional or both. See if your husband will get help for handling his anger in a proper way. Every effort should be made to get Christian psychological help so that further abuse can be avoided and the marriage can be healed. If there are children involved, they should be included in the restoration process as well. Prayer and pastoral counseling, along with psychological therapy, can accomplish much.

Divorce is not the answer to most marriage problems, although separation may be necessary in some cases in order to avoid additional physical abuse. God still takes the marriage vow very seriously. He gave marriage to us, and the marriage vow is not to be dissolved or broken casually—although our society has, by and large, forgotten this truth. Jesus’ words still express God’s perfect will: “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19:6).

Whatever the difficulties that you face as you take the necessary steps to resolve your situation, remember God’s promise, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10)

If you are being abused, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline or call 1-800-799-SAFE.