My parents got divorced when I was 8, and it was such a traumatic time for me that I vowed I'd never get divorced myself. But now my marriage looks like it's headed for the rocks. I can't believe this is happening. What did I do wrong?


Over the years, I’ve noticed that parents who are thinking about divorce seldom realize the damage it often causes, especially to their children. Perhaps your letter will cause some to stop and reconsider—and then take steps to renew their marriage.

And that’s what I hope will happen with you and your husband. Your letter indicates that you don’t have children, but divorce still is a traumatic event—emotionally, economically, socially and spiritually. It may make you doubt your own worth, and even lead to depression and despair. One of the reasons divorce wasn’t part of God’s original plan is because He loves us and hates what divorce does to us. The Bible says, “For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce…. Therefore take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously” (Malachi 2:16, NKJV).

The place to begin is to commit your life and your marriage to God. He loves you, and as you open your heart and mind to Jesus Christ, He’ll give you a new love and a new concern for each other. Instead of seeking only what you can get out of your marriage, He’ll give you a desire to fulfill each other’s needs. He’ll also surround you with people who can help you, as you seek out a church where Christ is central.

One of the tragedies of divorce is that children often grow up without seeing what a loving marriage can be. But God is able to overcome this, and I pray He will for you.

Feel like giving up? Good news: there’s real hope with Jesus Christ.