I know you say from time to time that we can never be good enough to earn God's salvation but does this mean it doesn't matter to God how we live? This doesn't seem right to me.
The reason it doesn’t seem right to you is because it isn’t right! God is concerned about the way we live, because He loves us, and He knows that when we disobey Him we only end up hurting ourselves and those around us. God told the ancient Israelites to do good and “seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you” (Jeremiah 29:7).
But no matter how good we are, we are still guilty in God’s eyes, and we still need for our sins to be forgiven. Let me explain this by asking you a question: How many sins do you think it would take to make you guilty before God? The answer may surprise you: It only takes one. The Bible puts it this way: “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it” (James 2:10).
This is why we need Christ, for only He can erase our sins and make us righteous in the eyes of God. The reason is because He took upon Himself the punishment we deserve for our sins. We deserved to die on the cross, but He died in our place. The Bible says, “For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God” (1 Peter 3:18).
Are you trusting Christ alone for your salvation? Or are you still hoping that somehow you can save yourself by your own good works? Don’t trust yourself any longer, but by faith commit your life to Christ and trust Him alone for your salvation.