Answers

Q:

My mother and I always had a hard time getting along, and in fact it's been six years since we've even spoken. I know I'm partly at fault, but I feel bad about this and wish I could find some way to reconnect. Do you have any suggestions?


A:

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day in the United States, when we pause to express our gratitude for our mothers and to honor all mothers for the vital role they play in our lives. One of the Ten Commandments says, “Honor your father and your mother” (Exodus 20:12).

Can you think of a better time than this to take the first step and begin to be reconciled with your mother? I can’t–and I strongly urge you to do so. No, you probably won’t solve your problems instantly–but the time to start is now. Don’t leave it until it’s too late.

I don’t know if it’s true in your case, but I’ve noticed that broken relationships like this often go on and on simply because both parties are too proud, or too stubborn, to take the first step. Don’t let that be true of you! Don’t wait for your mother to make the first move, or to apologize for whatever happened in the past. Now is the time for you to visit, or make the call, or write the letter, or send the flowers–or whatever is best to do.

Most of all, realize that God wants to help you heal this relationship. God loves you–and He loves your mother as well. Pray for her, and then trust God to help you. The Bible says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger … forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32).