How can you help someone who doesn't want your help, and won't even admit they have a problem? My cousin is like this. His life is falling apart because he can't get along with people but he refuses to face it. What can I do?


Have you ever thought about how stubborn we often are – and how much it hurts us? Stubbornness makes us do things we shouldn’t do, and cuts us off from others (even those who want to help us) – simply because we insist on our own way and won’t admit we might be wrong.

But stubbornness also cuts us off from God, because it makes us refuse to seek His will or listen to His Word. Instead, we insist on going our own way – regardless of the consequences. I often think of the people of Jeremiah’s day, who stubbornly refused to listen to his warnings and told him, “It’s no use. We will continue with our own plans; each of us will follow the stubbornness of his evil heart” (Jeremiah 18:12).

Is there anything you can do to help your cousin? The most important thing you can do is to pray for him. You can’t break through his stubbornness – but God can. Pray that he’ll be willing to face his problems and listen to the advice of people who care about him. Pray most of all that he will realize his need for God’s forgiveness, and humbly submit his life to Jesus.

Stubbornness has its roots in pride – and because of this, it’s ultimately a spiritual problem. Make sure of your own commitment to Christ, and then ask Him to help you show His love to your cousin. The Bible says, “Love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8).