How Do I Deal With My Parents' Divorce?


My parents got divorced several months ago, and I feel confused. I love them both, but they don't love each other and that makes it very hard for me, especially when they trash each other and try to get me on their side. How can I deal with this? I'm only 14.


My heart goes out to you, and to all young people who find themselves caught in the middle between their divorcing parents. Perhaps your letter will remind some of these parents to quit pressuring their children to take sides, but to love them and do what is best for them.

Divorce was not part of God’s perfect plan for the human race; His plan was that a man and woman would love each other and be committed to each other as long as they lived. That still is God’s will for our marriages—and I hope it will be your goal when you marry. Jesus said, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:9).

Unfortunately divorce is a reality today, and it often brings with it a tragic harvest of anger, bitterness, conflict and depression. But don’t let these infect you. Although it may not be easy, let both your mother and your father know that you love them in spite of what’s happened, and you’ll continue to love them in the future. Let them know also that you hope they’ll get beyond the name-calling stage, and look toward the future instead of the past.

The most important advice I can give you, however, is to put your life and your future into God’s hands. God loves you; He loves you so much that Jesus Christ was willing to give His life for you. No matter what happens, His love never fails.

Trust Christ with your future today.