Answers

Q:

How do you know if your marriage is over? My husband says he loves me, but I found out a few months ago that he's been seeing another woman, and he still is. We're separated now, and I don't see how we can ever start over. It's broken my heart, but I don't know what to do.


A:

Almost nothing in life is more painful than being betrayed by a spouse. It rips at the heart and grieves the soul, and no one escapes unhurt. The Bible says, “Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched? So is he who sleeps with another man’s wife” (Proverbs 6:28-29).

And I deliberately used the word “betrayed”—because when a husband or wife commits adultery, they are betraying the solemn vow of faithfulness they took when they were married. Not only have they betrayed their spouse, but they also have betrayed their vow to God. Jesus said, “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19:6).

Can your marriage be restored? Yes, with God’s help—but only if both you and your husband submit your lives to Christ and seek His help to begin again. And I have seen this happen, often in the face of almost impossible odds. But it won’t happen if your husband refuses to turn away from his sin and renew his commitment to you and your marriage.

Pray for your husband, that he will see the foolishness of his ways and repent of his sin. And ask God also for patience, because you don’t know what the future holds. But no matter what happens, with Christ you are never alone, and His love will never fail. Open your heart and life to Him today.