I finally had to face the fact that my husband was an alcoholic and things weren't going to get better because he had no desire to change. He finally moved out because he said he was tired of my nagging, but now I feel guilty because I'm not around to take care of him. Should I ask him back?


Elsewhere in your letter, you make it clear that you still love your husband in spite of his problems — and this is why you can’t just forget about him or wash your hands of him. I commend you for your concern.

But if you truly love your husband, you want what is best for him — and what is best is for him to face his problems and deal with them. But will this happen if you simply ask him to return? In all likelihood, he’ll insist you stop your nagging (if that was actually an issue) — but beyond that he’ll probably just keep living the way he always has, and nothing will be solved. Don’t, in other words, become what psychologists call an “enabler” — someone who just helps a person keep practicing their bad habit.

Ask God to give you wisdom as you seek to help your husband. If you invite him to return, insist that he first get involved with an alcohol treatment program; your doctor or pastor can suggest one in your community. It may not be easy for him to deal with his problem — but the alternative is eventual death.

Most of all, urge your husband to turn to Christ. God made him; God loves him — and God wants to help him. The Bible says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13, NKJV). These words are true — both for you and your husband.