I thought divorce was the answer, but I realize now it wasn't. It's too late to go back and change things (my ex-wife has remarried anyway), but I hope you'll warn people not to think divorce is the easy way out, because it isn't. I should have tried harder to keep my marriage together.


Thank you for your honesty—and I hope your letter will be like a caution flag to someone who’s thinking the same way you used to think. The Bible says, “The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways” (Proverbs 14:8).

Divorce always has consequences, and they can be very hurtful or even destructive: loneliness, financial struggle, heartache, confusion, self-doubt, and so forth. It also can lead to unwise decisions later on, such as a hasty (and unfortunate) second marriage. The consequences are especially complicated and confusing when children are involved—both for them and for their parents. Some of the most heart-rending letters I receive are from single parents who are struggling (often with great courage) to make the best of a difficult situation.

My prayer for you is that you won’t let the failures of the past haunt you or push you in a wrong direction in the future. This is why the most important thing you can do is to put your life—and your future—into God’s hands. He knows what has happened to you, and yet He still loves you and wants to come into your life and help you.

By faith ask Christ to come into your life today. You need His forgiveness, and you also need His wisdom. You cannot change the past—but with God’s help you can change the future.