Q:
I've had a rocky relationship with my mother most of my life, and in fact we've hardly spoken in the last year. But recently, the mother of a close friend of mine died, and it's started me thinking if I ought to try to change this. But how do I go about it? Or is it even possible?
A:
Tomorrow, people throughout our nation will be celebrating Mother’s Day — and I can’t think of a better time for you to try to mend your relationship with your mother. Let the Bible’s words guide you: “Try to live in peace with all people, and try to live free from sin” (Hebrews 12:14, NCV).It may not happen all at once; broken relationships (like broken bones) usually take time to heal. But now is the time to take that first step. Even if it eventually turns out to be impossible, you need to make the effort, because — as you’ve seen from your friend’s experience — some day your mother may not be here, and then it’ll be too late.
Don’t spend the rest of your days filled with guilt and regret, constantly wondering what might have happened if you’d only tried.Reach out, therefore, to your mother, even if it’s only a card or note or phone call saying that you are thinking about her this Mother’s Day. Don’t get into the “blame game,” rehashing the past or blaming her for whatever went wrong (even if she is mostly at fault). The Bible says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).Most of all, commit this problem — and your whole life — to Jesus Christ. God can do what we can’t do, and He can bring healing and love even to the most difficult relationship.