Is there anything wrong with living with my boyfriend if we plan to be married someday?


Living together without marriage is becoming more frequent as our society moves further and further from its religious and moral roots. We can assure you that you will never find lasting happiness by continuing to live this way.

For one thing, when you have this kind of relationship outside of a marriage covenant, you have no commitment—and without commitment, a full measure of trust and security does not exist. Love becomes little more than an emotional feeling toward each other, and when the emotions fade there is nothing to keep you together.

More than that, you are forgoing God’s lasting peace and satisfaction by refusing His best for your life. God has given marriage to us for our happiness and security, and when we follow His rules for sex and marriage we can experience real joy. When you treat love and sex casually you are going against His perfect plan, and it will inevitably bring unhappiness.

The Bible stresses: “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Hebrews 13:4). The Bible also says that God so strongly condemns fornication and adultery that those who practice these sins will be excluded from God’s kingdom (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). However, the Lord is willing to forgive such sins and transform the lives of those who have committed them (1 Corinthians 6:11).

We urge you to surrender to Jesus Christ as your Saviour and Lord and trust Him to forgive and cleanse you from your sins. This is what it means to become a Christian. The Holy Spirit then will live in your heart guiding and empowering you to honor God in every area of life.

The apostle Paul wrote, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13). You will need to separate from the one with whom you are living, recognizing that you have no right to live as husband and wife without marriage. You cannot, of course, have Christ as your Lord and continue in such a relationship. We would suggest that you seek the counsel of a pastor in your community for further support and direction.