I know you aren't supposed to hate people, but someone hurt me very badly a couple of years back and there just isn't any way I can stop hating him for what he did. Maybe if he asked for my forgiveness I could do it, but he hasn't (and probably never will). What would you say to someone like me?


As long as you continue to hate this person, what he did will continue to hurt you. Yes, he hurt you once in the past–but your anger and hatred just keep opening and reopening the wounds he caused.

This is one reason why you need to let go of the past, and–with God’s help–release your hatred of this person. No, it won’t be easy, but unless you do, your anger will eat away at you the rest of your life. The Bible wisely says, “Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred” (Proverbs 15:17). Jesus said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).

Is this easy to do? No–not without God’s help. And that’s why the first step I urge you to take is to turn to God and seek His forgiveness for all the ways you have hurt Him. When we understand how much we have hurt God, the hurts we have received from others begin to fade.

Then ask God to help you begin to see this person through His eyes. Yes, he has done wrong–to you, and to God. But God still loves him, and Christ died to make his forgiveness possible–just as He did for you. Don’t be enslaved by hatred any longer, but learn to “Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Colossians 3:13).