Someone hurt me very deeply about two years ago, and now I have an opportunity to really get back at her. My mother says I shouldn't do it, but I don't see any reason not to. What this person did was wrong, so why should she be allowed to get away with it?


Wanting to strike back and hurt someone who’s hurt us is a common human reaction—but that doesn’t make it right. The Bible urges us to take a different path: “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. … Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:17,21).

What’s wrong with seeking revenge? For one thing, it seldom solves anything. At best, this person will remain your enemy; at worst, she’ll retaliate against you in some way—starting a cycle that might never end. This is the way wars start, and on a personal level it’s the way conflicts continue and never get resolved. I urge you not to start down this path, no matter how hurt you feel.

But revenge is also wrong because it’s fueled by anger. Let’s face it: You aren’t really interested in justice; you simply want to see this person suffer. But anger will only lead you astray. This is why the Bible says, “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control” (Proverbs 29:11).

What should you do? First, commit this situation—and your whole life—to Jesus Christ. Ask Him to take away your anger and replace it with love and concern for this person. Then trust God to deal with her, convicting her of her wrongdoing and convincing her of her need to turn to Christ.