Is it possible to love someone, but still not be in love with them? My husband and I had a very romantic relationship when we first got married, but now all the romance has gone out of it, and I'm wondering if our marriage is over. I think I still love him, but I can't say I'm actually in love with him, if you see the difference.


I understand what you’re trying to say—but have you ever asked yourself what love really is, and also what love is not? Let me suggest you try to do this before you decide your marriage is over.

Love is a wonderful gift, given to us by God when He created the human race. But love is more than just physical attraction or romantic feelings. These may have their place, but love is much greater than them. A marriage built only on emotional feelings or physical attraction will eventually go stale.

True love says, “I am committed to you, and I will do everything I can to help you and encourage you.” True love says, “I’m not just concerned about myself and what I can get from you; instead, I want to put you first, and I promise to do what is best for you, even if it involves sacrifice.” The Bible says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. … It is not rude, it is not self-seeking” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).

This is the kind of love God has for us—and it also is the kind of love He wants to give us. And He will, as we open our hearts to Jesus Christ, who was God’s greatest expression of love. Begin your life—and your marriage—afresh today, by asking Christ to come into your life and fill you with His love.