My husband and I have stayed together for the sake of our children, but they're on their own now, and we've decided to go ahead and get a divorce. But my mother keeps hoping we won't, and I promised her I'd write you first. But why keep a failed marriage together?
I’m saddened whenever I hear of a failed marriage, because no husband or wife planned for it to be that way—and neither did God (who gave marriage to us). At the beginning of the human race God declared, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18).
Can your marriage be saved? It may not be easy, but I believe it can—with God’s help. The first step is to want to save it—and I suspect that’s a major barrier, because you’ve been thinking how happy you’ll be once you’re divorced. But that’s not necessarily true; divorce often brings with it a harvest of problems—loneliness, financial problems, lack of mutual help, and so forth.
This is why the most important step you can take is to turn to Jesus Christ and commit your lives, and your marriage, to Him. He loves you, and He can give you a new love for each other as you commit your lives to Him. And there’s no better time to do this than at Christmas, which demonstrates God’s great love for us. Jesus said, “As I have loved you, so you must love one another” (John 13:34).
Then take practical steps to renew your love. When anger or harsh words threaten, ask God to help you overcome them. The Bible says, “Love is patient, love is kind. … it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).