My husband and I love each other very much, yet we're both very stubborn and end up fighting far more than we probably should. Recently, I realized that we were setting a bad example for our children, but what can we do? We can't change our personalities.


Perhaps you can’t change your basic personalities, but with God’s help you certainly can knock the rough edges off them! And I hope you will, because not only will it help you be a better example to your children, but you’ll also learn to actually enjoy each other’s company.

What can you do? You’ve already taken the first step by admitting you have a problem and need to do something about it. That’s significant, because stubborn people (I’ve noticed) often have a hard time admitting they aren’t always right. In fact, one reason stubbornness is so damaging is because it blinds us to our own faults. The rebellious people of Jeremiah’s day “did not listen or pay attention; instead, they followed the stubborn inclinations of their evil hearts” (Jeremiah 7:24).

The most important step you can take, however, is to submit yourselves to Jesus Christ, asking Him not only to forgive you but also to come into your lives and change you from within. God loves you, and when Christ’s love invades your life, you’ll be less insistent on having your own way and more concerned about doing His will. Let John the Baptist’s words become yours: “He must become greater; I must become less” (John 3:30).

Then make it your goal, with God’s help, to serve one another and humbly help each other. The Bible says, “All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another” (1 Peter 5:5).