My husband died of a heart attack a year ago and I haven't felt close to God since then. God was very important to us as a family, but now it's as if God doesn't even exist. I've tried to pray and read my Bible, but nothing changes. Will I always be like this?
No, there isn’t any reason to believe you will always be like this—and I pray you won’t, for God is just as real and just as loving today as He was a year ago, and He wants to help you get through this difficult time.
Right now, you’re still grieving over the loss of your husband—and grief isn’t something that vanishes overnight. When we lose someone we love, our grief is real, and so is our sense of loss and loneliness. This is especially the case when death comes suddenly and unexpectedly (although it’s always true). Jesus knew His friend Lazarus would return to life, but Jesus still wept at his tomb (see John 11:35).
What can you do? First, thank God for the life you and your husband had together. This may seem painful, but thanksgiving has a wonderful way of casting out gloom. In addition, thank God that your husband knew Christ, and he is safely in heaven where there is “no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away” (Revelation 21:4). Thank God also that someday you will be reunited and with God forever.
In addition, reach out to someone who’s going through the same experience you are. You can help them, and they will help you. The Bible says, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2).